I am a retired AF Officer, former Air Force Junior ROTC Senior Aerospace Science Instructor, driving coach & amateur racer. I can destroy a car in a manner few can match, and repair it with a style that only be termed as "creative." I can get my terrible musings published and you will still question if English is my first language. I can locate BBQ within miles of any location and rank it nationally. I am fun, have awesome hair, and stunning knowledge of movie quotes. Your dog will love me.